- ► 2009 (37)
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Happy 1 year of Waking Up... July 22, 2011
Last year I did the unthinkable, unexpected, and probably something that me realize a few things... Maybe a lot of things. Last year I broke up with my boyfriend, the one I cared so much about. We broke up roughly about 3 days right before our one year anniversary. I did like an evaluation of my life and i realized some things about myself that i didn't like and my progress wasn't very much "in progress". Now before you jump to conclusions, this isn't a bashing letter or a "I hate nuggas" letter, matter fact this letter isn't even about him, it's about me. We're still cordial. This letter is about my growth, few things I've learned and a couple of things I've tried to better myself on.
My first point or I guess message to myself is:
1. Don't settle! Hear me out on this. It wasn't just me that settled, he settled for me as well. We both rushed into something we thought we understood but clearly weren't able to comprehend or grasp certain things that eventually harmed our relationship. I guess we were so rapped up and infatuated with the idea of having "summer love". Timing is everything. If you aren't ready for a relationship don't get into one
2. Is something wrong? Tell them!!! If something is wrong don't hesitate, the right gesture would to be to tell them at that exact moment. Don't waste time; you'll subconsciously start doing things to bother or affect one another, which will cause a ripple effect.
3. Correct them when they're wrong!!! Acknowledge all wrong doings, why wouldn't you? And when I say "Correct them when they're wrong", I am not talking about "putting men in their place". Males and females are equally wrong with the things they do. And at the time the two of us both did things that shouldn't have been done or that bothered one another. If its something you don't like, again I say don't hesitate to tell them. Of course there's something called compromising, so not everything needs to be adjusted... Just note it!
4. Don't play games, people are way too old for that! Be honest and don't hold back! What are you holding back for? Do you not want to show your true colors to early or something? Just share it... If your spouse makes you mad, don't turn and and try to make them mad. It's not cute at all. And certainly don't allow them to do that to you. One thing I learned from all of my communication classes is that, if someone genuinely loves and cares for you they won't purposely hurt you. If you think other wise, well that's something you need to have to deal with.
5. Define what is WHAT! Everybody has different definitions and meanings for different things. For Example, what one may consider to be cheating may be the others idea of only flirting or being flirtatious. Perception is everything, my dear.
6. Together be 100! A relationship is 50/50. Don't put in, if you aren't getting anything out of it. That's messed up if you're giving them all of you and that person is giving only half. Usually couples grow together, they learn together, make mistakes together and get back up and do it all over again. Basically if you are with somebody who isn't doing the share and you feel as if you're pulling all of the weight, practice points 2 (Is something wrong? Tell them!!!) and 3 (Correct them when they're wrong). If nothing changes, maybe you need to CHANGE who you're with, that's all.
But now that I've shared with you what I've learned from the past, take note. Whether you choose to use these rules, tips, advice, or whatever your choice of words, is really up to you. Just don't let me say "I told you so!"
Happy 2 year Anniversary Cancelled and Happy 1 year of Waking Up...